After passing a lovely weekend with my boyfriend in Milan, I have thus finished my monday plunge into the week and its activities. Sometimes I find it extremely difficult to deal with the various sectors of my "think tank." For instance, I have lots of different obligations/priorities/thoughts, and their space between distance, time, and relativity are wide--I sometimes find myself in a tizzy trying to think of which to address first. It would also help if there was overlapping in my life, but at this point it seems as if that is not the case.
My family and most of my friends are in the US, my boyfriend and I see one another solely on weekends, my official job is three days a week-not including preparation, my painting should occur the other two days, plus my future master degree/scholarship/artistic goals conundrum. It just all seems like one big mess of things where not many of my commitments, relationship-job-desires, correspond. Oh well, how did I find myself in these circles? My life could be a lot easier--but I guess I always search to complicate it.
Anyways, Saturday night, Matteo took me to see Gato Barbieri play at the Blue Note in Milan. The Blue Note is the famous house for jazz artists in Milan, an institution that also finds its home in other major cities around the globe, like New York. Gato Barbieri is an Argentinian sax player who is a Latin jazz legend, being one of the "first musicians to fuse jazz with an number of Latin rhythms that were not Afro-Cuban," says my flyer. In any case, Matteo and I have been wanting to go to the Blue Note for some time, and despite the higher price of the tickets, we decided to make a night of it and go. I had a wonderful time, and I had fun dressing up for the evening out. We first shared an aperitivo with friends, and he and I remained talking at the locale while those friends went to a underground rock concert--that is obviously less of my scene. It was nice to hang out before the show, and we began discussing this "Camping in Italy" idea that we've cooked up lately. We'd like to do 12 days driving the coasts of Southern Italy in a tent (going to campgrounds of course). It might sound odd, but apparently it is something that many young people do here. Just thinking about the adventure of this trip makes me start going crazy so I don't really want to think about it until it materializes more fully.
We arrived at the Blue Note, scored an awesome table on the second tier of the room-front row, and we ordered a bottle of Prosecco-the white bubbly fizzy wine that seems to be perfectly suited to jazz music. There were candles, and I was 100% in my happy zone. haha. He looked at me with this funny smile on his face. When I asked him, "What are you laughing about??!" he responded, "I am just really happy I can take my girlfriend to something so cool like this." Needless to say, the concert was amazing. He was older in age, and he slowly walked out to the stage with large dark characteristic glasses, a suit and a hat--he started out slow with his band at his back, the percussionist, drummer, and the pianist playing away creating the mood, the rhythms, and the crescendo; the notes that came out of that saxophone were strong and silky, as if he were 30 years old blasting out the music. The group in general was fantastic, and I was especially captivated by the percussionist and his wild dexterity in the way his hands flew around the diverse array of instruments. We both loved the show, and I was really happy to have had the relaxing musical melodies cap of the evening with Matteo. As I called for the cab inside, Matteo whisked in from the street with a red rose in hand--and we ran out happy, me with my rose, to the street to expect our ride home. It was a lovely night.
We are gearing up for Paris in a few days, and we looked over my "Parigi" book that I bought at the book store. We will be touring Nazis for sure, and I have to brush up on my basic French. At least he has a nice French accent. Between his knowledge of history and mine of art, we should be decently prepared. One thing is for sure--at 9:30am on Friday, my bum will be ascending the steps of the Eiffel Tower. Oui oui!!!
à tout à l'heure!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Art, Brainstorms, and Brainwork
Today, I am fighting to recount my disillusion with the contemporary art world and how stupid and jaded it has all turned out to be. I have never fit in with the "current" of artists or contemporary art lovers. I have been trying to not be influenced or consumed by the system for years--since the first days in university when I started discovering the overwhelming reality of the contemporary situation.
Art that has entered a field of useless production that is not made for the people, but for a pool of people that continues filling and feeding the system with empty and abstract concepts, shock-effect productions, and the insatiable search for the "cutting-edge"--we have arrived at the point where to do something contemporary in art has become superficial, non-enduring, just like our society. Curators are usually very intelligent people, and it must be a shame when they get to that little elite circle to only start biting at their own tails and having to regale art objects that a 3rd grader could judge as being mindless shit.
Its like those high intellectual philosophers that are so far gone in their field that their conception of the non-reality of the "reality" has made them completely ridiculous and almost retro-learning ignorant of basic truths and common sense. Duh of course, you Wak, we can study and question the idea of reality--but its study should not make us incapable of living and rationalizing within it.
I am deciding on Masters programs...but as a surprise to you all, I am thinking about following an urban design/Public art degree instead of art. It is not decided yet, but it has something to do with my delusions in the art field.....and something else to do with my idea that I should diversify my skill range instead of specializing even more in this world of strange people. Today I was demoralized because we critiqued my paintings (which went really well with a renowned curator) and then we analyzed two other projects: a stick hung on a wall....and an audio registration of something disgusting (I won't go into detail). In the end, I was so demoralized by the genuine nature of my artistic goals, that I began a new brainstorm on continued education. Is it persistence that perseveres against the wierdos or is it amplifying knowledge that makes you more flexible. Bah hum bug. Freaking art---how am I involved in this "contemporary art" crap. ha ha ha. hellllllp!!!!! I will decide, and art will always be a huge part of me--always painting for sure.
Okay, enough of my rant and brainstorm. ----and I have just found my next rant of the day:
Below is a conversation with an EXTREMELY intelligent friend of mine: I am "C" and he is "B"....
C: what exactly are you doing with your genius brain?
B: Cara you're making me smile but I'm making video games
C: really??? what kind?
B: the ones that spam your Facebook newsfeed...
C: like little ones?
B: no, they're kinda big, Have you heard of FarmVille? Mafia Wars? YoVille?
C: no dear....but maybe I should know about them--I don't like being on the internet, im sure my sister has heard of them : )
B: hahahah, awe well yeah so basically the company at 50 employees when I joined last December now we've grown to over 800 employees.
C: wow..that is awesome
B: and we're the largest developer of social game. 60 million people play per day
C: are they educational?
B: no... they're just addicting and social. The game I'm working on is called YoVille - it's kinda like the Sims but it's on facebook
so you can decorate your apt and buy houses and you can also see your friends apts and stuff.
C: hmmm..interesting.. I liked the Sims. It is a cool idea because I liked SIMS...No offense dear, but I think social games are the reason that there are 60 million people that are stupid.
B: hahaha. so wait (btw I'm not taking offense) are you saying stupid people play the games? or the games are making people stupid?
C: no people devoting themselves to addictive games decreases intelligence, and maybe increases synapses in the brain.
People aren't stupid, but they would never read a book instead.
B: ahhhhh, well yeah I do hear your argument there
C: haha...However, I know I may be a bit ignorant to the whole world of game playing
however, I like to be sincere. I think you're very intelligent so I'm interested to know your motivation
B: You're at least partially right...I usually don't understand our users but the work is really interesting to me. I'm really into computer graphics and it was also an amazing experience to be here at a Silicon Valley startup while we were scaling our webservers up from having 30,000 users per day on my game, to over 4,000,000 per day
C: I am sure that it is an awesome experience, and you obviously have the capabilities to do amazing things on the computer that are very hard for me to grasp...and I am sure it is a challenge for you to create things like the games....
however, maybe the next game can be a geography test so people can place India on a map : )
B: I promise Cara I will use my powers for good
C: LOL...you understand my point..very good dear, Im happy. You have such an awesome brain, you can do so much good.
B: Haha thanks
In any case folks, I hope that my friend does go on to do great great things--not constructing games that he considers to be "just addicting and social." Brains of today--function to develop other brains!--not numb them.
Sincerely,
Me
Art that has entered a field of useless production that is not made for the people, but for a pool of people that continues filling and feeding the system with empty and abstract concepts, shock-effect productions, and the insatiable search for the "cutting-edge"--we have arrived at the point where to do something contemporary in art has become superficial, non-enduring, just like our society. Curators are usually very intelligent people, and it must be a shame when they get to that little elite circle to only start biting at their own tails and having to regale art objects that a 3rd grader could judge as being mindless shit.
Its like those high intellectual philosophers that are so far gone in their field that their conception of the non-reality of the "reality" has made them completely ridiculous and almost retro-learning ignorant of basic truths and common sense. Duh of course, you Wak, we can study and question the idea of reality--but its study should not make us incapable of living and rationalizing within it.
I am deciding on Masters programs...but as a surprise to you all, I am thinking about following an urban design/Public art degree instead of art. It is not decided yet, but it has something to do with my delusions in the art field.....and something else to do with my idea that I should diversify my skill range instead of specializing even more in this world of strange people. Today I was demoralized because we critiqued my paintings (which went really well with a renowned curator) and then we analyzed two other projects: a stick hung on a wall....and an audio registration of something disgusting (I won't go into detail). In the end, I was so demoralized by the genuine nature of my artistic goals, that I began a new brainstorm on continued education. Is it persistence that perseveres against the wierdos or is it amplifying knowledge that makes you more flexible. Bah hum bug. Freaking art---how am I involved in this "contemporary art" crap. ha ha ha. hellllllp!!!!! I will decide, and art will always be a huge part of me--always painting for sure.
Okay, enough of my rant and brainstorm. ----and I have just found my next rant of the day:
Below is a conversation with an EXTREMELY intelligent friend of mine: I am "C" and he is "B"....
C: what exactly are you doing with your genius brain?
B: Cara you're making me smile but I'm making video games
C: really??? what kind?
B: the ones that spam your Facebook newsfeed...
C: like little ones?
B: no, they're kinda big, Have you heard of FarmVille? Mafia Wars? YoVille?
C: no dear....but maybe I should know about them--I don't like being on the internet, im sure my sister has heard of them : )
B: hahahah, awe well yeah so basically the company at 50 employees when I joined last December now we've grown to over 800 employees.
C: wow..that is awesome
B: and we're the largest developer of social game. 60 million people play per day
C: are they educational?
B: no... they're just addicting and social. The game I'm working on is called YoVille - it's kinda like the Sims but it's on facebook
so you can decorate your apt and buy houses and you can also see your friends apts and stuff.
C: hmmm..interesting.. I liked the Sims. It is a cool idea because I liked SIMS...No offense dear, but I think social games are the reason that there are 60 million people that are stupid.
B: hahaha. so wait (btw I'm not taking offense) are you saying stupid people play the games? or the games are making people stupid?
C: no people devoting themselves to addictive games decreases intelligence, and maybe increases synapses in the brain.
People aren't stupid, but they would never read a book instead.
B: ahhhhh, well yeah I do hear your argument there
C: haha...However, I know I may be a bit ignorant to the whole world of game playing
however, I like to be sincere. I think you're very intelligent so I'm interested to know your motivation
B: You're at least partially right...I usually don't understand our users but the work is really interesting to me. I'm really into computer graphics and it was also an amazing experience to be here at a Silicon Valley startup while we were scaling our webservers up from having 30,000 users per day on my game, to over 4,000,000 per day
C: I am sure that it is an awesome experience, and you obviously have the capabilities to do amazing things on the computer that are very hard for me to grasp...and I am sure it is a challenge for you to create things like the games....
however, maybe the next game can be a geography test so people can place India on a map : )
B: I promise Cara I will use my powers for good
C: LOL...you understand my point..very good dear, Im happy. You have such an awesome brain, you can do so much good.
B: Haha thanks
In any case folks, I hope that my friend does go on to do great great things--not constructing games that he considers to be "just addicting and social." Brains of today--function to develop other brains!--not numb them.
Sincerely,
Me
Monday, February 1, 2010
Love-take the risk
School day today. I am slowly trying new recipes in my cookbook and improvising.
I have gotten into the habit of listening to a jazz radio station on my Itunes music player. It is really relaxing, and I am developing a really big crush on the genre in general. It is improvisational, unpredictable, and its rhythms jive really well with my spirit and way that I like to be--For instance, when I listen to jazz, it is like it funnels all of my thoughts along a nice pleasant road.
Anyways, last night I was writing about my weekend spent with Matteo. It is all cute and nice to describe our relaxing weekend together, but a few moments stood out more than others. Sunday, Matteo drove me back to my apartment in Milan. I was slightly depressed because he would leave soon. He helped me set up and organize my new domestic purchases in my room, including a small 9 Euro shelf to place next to my desk. At the end, he rested his arms on my shoulders and we had this conversation:
Me: "Thanks, Matteo, you are so special. What would I do without you?"
Ma: "Dear, you know I love you."
Me: " Seriously, you know-you make me happy---you are my Italy"
Ma: " And you, baby Dear, you are my America."
Smile
Me: "I hope you like the place."
Ma: "Its fantastic."
Now, please note that I am translating and summarizing--so it sounded a lot less cheesy in the real version (I hope). Also important detail--my name is officially "Dear" to him. haha. Aside from these small moments, I will confess that I love the sincere deep look in his eyes when he looks at me. This is love ladies and gentlemen.
I was having a conversation with my colleague, Amber, today. She is a cool American girl in her thirties living in Milan, and we have a really nice rapport. We usually walk to the train station together, and talking to her is like a breath of fresh air because not only do we speak the same language, but we have the same type of sarcasm-based anglo-saxon humor, we share stories, and waste no time making jokes about the incredible particularities and frustrations attributed to the Italian system. We especially like asking questions that can only be rhetorical in this country--because most things don't make sense!
I hope that I will some day be able to fully express the incredible nature of this country--the good, the bad, and the why--what makes it tick--this unique tick that can only be created by the Italian personality and history. Amber and I talk about everything from men to traffic to the extraordinarily long teacher meetings (where EVERYONE must have a say), etc. However, besides discussing the unconceivable traffic patterns today, she gave me some advice.
I mentioned my growing affection for Matteo that has brought about small inhibitions due to the fact that a future that is not easily foreseen or devised. From a girl who has lived outside of the US for quite some time now, she blatantly said that my attitude and tendency to plan and ask "where and how is this going to work" is a very American way to view my current situation. Without this conversation with Amber, I had already decided that I would have to embrace this relationship day by day, seeing where it took me. Therefore, this is my plan. The road map takes unexpected turns--one that no GPS navigator can expect or predict. This applies to both life and love. Therefore, I'm learning to throw away the guide--take life day by day--work hard, love it, and live it up.
I have gotten into the habit of listening to a jazz radio station on my Itunes music player. It is really relaxing, and I am developing a really big crush on the genre in general. It is improvisational, unpredictable, and its rhythms jive really well with my spirit and way that I like to be--For instance, when I listen to jazz, it is like it funnels all of my thoughts along a nice pleasant road.
Anyways, last night I was writing about my weekend spent with Matteo. It is all cute and nice to describe our relaxing weekend together, but a few moments stood out more than others. Sunday, Matteo drove me back to my apartment in Milan. I was slightly depressed because he would leave soon. He helped me set up and organize my new domestic purchases in my room, including a small 9 Euro shelf to place next to my desk. At the end, he rested his arms on my shoulders and we had this conversation:
Me: "Thanks, Matteo, you are so special. What would I do without you?"
Ma: "Dear, you know I love you."
Me: " Seriously, you know-you make me happy---you are my Italy"
Ma: " And you, baby Dear, you are my America."
Smile
Me: "I hope you like the place."
Ma: "Its fantastic."
Now, please note that I am translating and summarizing--so it sounded a lot less cheesy in the real version (I hope). Also important detail--my name is officially "Dear" to him. haha. Aside from these small moments, I will confess that I love the sincere deep look in his eyes when he looks at me. This is love ladies and gentlemen.
I was having a conversation with my colleague, Amber, today. She is a cool American girl in her thirties living in Milan, and we have a really nice rapport. We usually walk to the train station together, and talking to her is like a breath of fresh air because not only do we speak the same language, but we have the same type of sarcasm-based anglo-saxon humor, we share stories, and waste no time making jokes about the incredible particularities and frustrations attributed to the Italian system. We especially like asking questions that can only be rhetorical in this country--because most things don't make sense!
I hope that I will some day be able to fully express the incredible nature of this country--the good, the bad, and the why--what makes it tick--this unique tick that can only be created by the Italian personality and history. Amber and I talk about everything from men to traffic to the extraordinarily long teacher meetings (where EVERYONE must have a say), etc. However, besides discussing the unconceivable traffic patterns today, she gave me some advice.
I mentioned my growing affection for Matteo that has brought about small inhibitions due to the fact that a future that is not easily foreseen or devised. From a girl who has lived outside of the US for quite some time now, she blatantly said that my attitude and tendency to plan and ask "where and how is this going to work" is a very American way to view my current situation. Without this conversation with Amber, I had already decided that I would have to embrace this relationship day by day, seeing where it took me. Therefore, this is my plan. The road map takes unexpected turns--one that no GPS navigator can expect or predict. This applies to both life and love. Therefore, I'm learning to throw away the guide--take life day by day--work hard, love it, and live it up.
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