Friendship n Faith--never underestimated!

Anyways, I had a very low-key day today. I have decided to look at my "big decisions" (earthquake tremor) with a more pleasant light. I now look at them as different opportunities, between which I can choose. Moreover, I also know that making one decision over the next isn't the end of the world. I think I've made my decision, but I will make the announcement at the end of the week; I tend to be capricious.

In this moment, I would like to first refer to my friend, KT's blog. KT is my girlfriend who is working in Vienna, and we have landed ourselves in similar European situations:

http://ktintheclouds.blogspot.com/2009/09/on-flipping-out-and-having-strong-lady.html

First: Her perfect reference to "Jerry MaGuire" is priceless considering our current and concurrent anxiety attacks over our life decisions. We are both intelligent post-graduates throwing caution to the wind--trying to live out our dreams and follow creative pathways, art and writing. In effect, we are also postponing our official entrance into possibly more practical opportunities and phases of our life.

I can't tell you how much I identify with Katie's uncertainty and flip-out sessions-- (please refer to my crazily introspective "poem" below for justification). It is very easily to doubt yourself and your intentions when it seems like you could be "wasting time." When you take two girls who are accustomed to achieving success within the different "brackets" of the ladder towards "professionalism"--what happens when they throw themselves out of the system of measurement? KT and I have now found ourselves in a different respective ponds with our nicely packaged toolkits floating on the surface of the lake. I believe there is a bird pooping on mine. It could just be that we, like Jerry Maguire, have taken our fish and left the F'ing building!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onRbNsxRBVQ

KT then goes on to discuss the support of her girlfriend from home, who wrote her a thoughtful email listing all of the reasons why she is still fabulous, and why she should calm down and enjoy the ride. I also found this very pertinent to my situation in that I have also found my support and encouragement from those people that mean the most to me at home, during this time of indecision and self-doubt.

I really do think that my mother, my sister, and my closest friends will all become saints by supporting me when I am in crisis. I write or call with "emergency" life situations, and they all unselfishly help me sort out my thoughts, giving me their best advice. At the end of the day, it is not their advice that is most important--it is the fact that they are there, unconditionally, showing their love and support for my happiness. Every single friend that I have talked to this week has told me, "Do what makes you happy!" In the end, only I can do the soul searching-only I can decide what is best for me--but these wonderful, fabulous people in my life keep up my spirit to continue with my own road.

My mom is my number one woman, and she deserves the medal of honor! She loves me enough to be my sounding board when necessary!

My best girlfriends from Pittsburgh and college and I have recently picked up the ball again with sending group-emails, vowing to stay in touch every week despite our busy and chaotic schedules. I guess you could say that we have rediscovered our importance, especially because we are all passing through periods of decision, transition, or loneliness--most all of us far away from our families and one another. We have all scattered since our college days, and no one can replace those true-blue friendships ever-present in our lives.

Here is a quick glimpse of the fabulous ladies in my life. Emily is in Connecticut (recently transferred from NYC), working finance for ESPN and living with her boyfriend. Jenn is working in her supply-chain job for the steel company in the Burgh, excited about her new beau. Fan is studying at Pitt medschool with her boyfriend, stressed over the truck-loads of information. Kim's single and selling real estate near Arlington. Alison and Sue are living together in a cute blue house in Arlington--Alison working in insurance with a lovely boyfriend, and Sue is an accountant thinking about her next move. Lacy, recently transferred from Memphis, is working for Unilever in New York while her boyfriend attends dental school. My sister is student-teaching 5th grade this semester at Penn State. You could say that I live the furthest away! They will all be attending the Penn State vs. Ohio State football game together, and you can't imagine how much I want to be there!! In any case, I miss them and their friendships dearly, and I do long for our reunion often when I'm over here hopping around different Italian friend circles. I miss "us" very much--and in a way, I miss me--the me that I am when I am with them. Sigh.

At the end of the day, I will have to agree with KT and say that I am blessed. I talk a lot about the importance of finding this silly personal road in life, but I realize that the road isn't what is most important, if at all. The people that help you find that road through their faith and love in you are the workers behind the scenes-chopping down the trees to help you see clearly. Those best friends don't give you direction, but they give you love to find the way. Faith is a beautiful thing.

With regard to my current life decisions--I wrote in my first paragraph that I am looking at my choices more as opportunities instead of feared mis-steps. My friends are always right!