August 12th, 2009
Last night we watched one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Nicolas Cage can thank his lucky stars that the critics forgave him for his part in “City of Angels” enough to give him future work. On the other hand, now I know why Meg Ryan was booted out of the film industry for a good ten years. That movie was so horrendous that I had to watch the end to see how bad it could get, and it didn’t dissapoint—in fact, my sister and I were having a ball cracking jokes the whole time. I don’t know who came up with the script, but it was the most ludicrous crap I’ve ever heard.
They actually tried to make the show serious, and the costume director thought it a good idea to dress all of the angels in black trenches and sunglasses. I can just envision the brainstorm: “I am going with a vampire slash serial killer look for the angels—with a little “Matrix” agent twist.” WTF! The angels in their midnight trenches lived in a library—that’s imaginative right? And they stood on a beach at sunset with sunglasses, further enforcing the Vampire vibe—or a bad Rayban commercial.
Nicolas Cage actually managed to make his angel seem like a first-class pervert, whispering and stalking Meg Ryan due to his great love for her. He dons this horrible gaping stare, and he laments that he has no ability to feel, taste or touch. He asks Meg Ryan what a pear tastes along with other stupid questions about “human life” delivered in a creepy sexualized tone. To put it simply, instead of portraying a celestial innocent angel, Cage succeeded in conveying a deranged guy who jacked-off in a closet for 30 years—please excuse my distasteful comment. Meg Ryan, on the other hand, plays the same character in every movie. This time she played an unconvincing doctor, and I want to punch her in the face most of the time; her voice grates on me, and she has this expression where one side of her lip curls up to scrunch her nose. This “Elvis move” drives me crazy! Its not cute, Meg!
To put the plot simply, Cage the perverted angel falls in love with this doctor. Despite the intended serious message of mortality throughout the film, you can’t help but laugh at how pitiful everything was conceived. After meeting a random chubby fallen ex-angel in the hospital, Cage discovers that he can become human if he literally wishes for it and jumps off a building—a funny twist on the Wizard of Oz? Meg takes a bitch fit, supposedly deciding to take up her BF’s marriage offer despite her love for the creepy angel. Cage finally decides to use his “free will” to take the (literal) fall to sacrifice his immortality and become human for her—he then proceeds to act like a drunken loon as he discovers the feeling of being human for the first time. He goes to find her in the mountains, and shows up at her door looking like a battered prostitute in the rain. The best of all—they have sex, and the next day she goes to the market to buy him a pear for him to taste. She pretends to be a bird on her bike, and “BAM”, she slams into a log truck and dies. The end.
I hope that I painted that for you properly, but I advise you all to watch it for your own enjoyment. I should make a version with my commentary. Good idea!
Okay, enough of that rant, but it was warranted.
I literally have no money to my name, and so my shopping trip with my mom and sister wasn’t very productive. My mom and dad are generous so they gave me a bit to spend on some items I may need for the fall. Oh my God—I need to make some cash! I hate being broke. I am so pathetic!
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